You know I could just do it No I’m gonna do it just give me a moment They look beauts on you Awww Thanks gurl You know I actually have a perfect face shape for glasses What do you think? Holy shit What!? You look completely different Look ok I have an unusually flat nose I get it I inherited it from my Por Por No Your nose is fine You’re like a different person You guys are so mean to me you never say my fashion choices are beauts Oh those just came in this morning from Paris They’re just fab aren’t they? May I see them on? Oh no its okay I just tried them on Aw please I’d love to see them on No I’m not gonna buy them Please put them on Put them on Okay Oh my god What? They just change everything They make you seem so womanly! Like don’t eff with me! Huh, fair Really? Yeah! We’re not getting those! Hey! No? No! They came in this morning Yeah you said from Paris just making sure you’re not gonna miss out? Yeah we’re good So… just the pregnancy test then? The one in your pocket? I was gonna pay for it Of course you were It takes three grown women to pay for a pregnancy test Excuse me You know I know a little browse and boost party when I see one We’re here for moral support Yeah! We’re besties Well you know whats not moral stealing from small businesses We would like to speak to your manager now! Certainly I fully And unreservedly apologise for Donna’s unacceptable behaviour We’ve had a string of shoplifters and just have to be careful ya know? But I do need to ask why were you so nervous about coming up with this pregnancy test? Well its not like my most fave thing to do Right So you don’t wanna keep it? Thats not… I might! Cmon! You were coming up to the counter ohhh oh no please noooo please noooo Whereas you could have come up like I can’t wait! Please! I wanna be a Mum! Please! So The difference Can I just buy the test and go? We just want you to know that there is an alternative to abortion Keep your voice down! We don’t care how many people you’re sleeping with How many guys you bring home every single night you know a new guy double guys who knows But please for God sakes Use government subsidised condoms! And you know what there might be a little bit of whoopsie you might tear the condom or whatever in which case you come in here and you get a morning after pill But you have to take it within 72 hours Cos otherwise you’ll have to make the grave decision of terminating life I’ll just leave that with you Donna Thanks Tomothy So got a good weekend planned guys? Ah thats 12.50 thanks And then we’ll just get you to bark like a dog What!? Thats 12.50 thanks! Great And now just bark like a dog if you could? No! That is not happening! Sorry! Not you Ya friend If you could just bark like a dog so that we know you’ve understood our lesson about contraception Cmon The sooner you bark The sooner we can all go off and pee on ya stick Okay Thats it! Not hearing any woofing? Cmon Okay Woof Put ya back into it No don’t! I don’t care I just want it over and done with WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF How dare you bully us you sanctimonious turd face dick whacking med school rejects! Give her the goods now or I swear I’ll make you get down on your lousy stinking fungus infected knees and take turns licking my lady garden I was wrong those glasses do look beauts on you Damn straight they do!