so this morning I went to the gym and I’m working out I’m like you know what I’m out of my anti-anxiety medication Lexapro so as I’m getting my cardio on I call up the pharmacy on my Gil I need a refill so they said it’ll be done right after I’m done with the gym and I’m like cool so I go over to the pharmacy right after the gym and I get there and they said hey you’re all out of refills for Lexapro and we fax your doctor but they didn’t reply to us I’m like oh crap they’re not open on Fridays so now what am I gonna do what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and in case you missed my announcement video yesterday please please please come follow me on Twitch like just real quick today I was streaming some fortnight with a friend and one of you Marin I came in but we had this like one-on-one conversation that she was talking to me about some of her depressions and anxieties and problems sleeping and ruminating and like we had an amazing conversation like we have that one-on-one time and like that’s why I want you guys to follow me on Twitch especially right now when the twitch stream is small like you’ll get some one-on-one time with me and we can have a conversation and I can try to walk you through some issues so head on over to the twitch stream its just twitch.tv slash the rewired soul I’ll have links down in the description but I also just love spending time with all of you so what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna start editing my videos with my stream on so I’ll just sit there and edit my video since I’m not my computer I think that’s gonna hop in the live stream we could talk with your chat or if you just want to see how I edit my YouTube videos and make my thumbnails and stuff but either way like just come follow me on Twitter like there’s a lot of cool stuff happening but anyways so let’s get back to the story no anxiety medication (Lexapro) and I wanted to talk about this like I just I try to make videos like when I’m going through something like maybe I can explain to you what’s going on and how I deal with it like I just have so many tools you know again on my twitch stream today like I was talking my friend was like so what are you gonna do about with having your anxiety medication so the first thing is once I heard that that’s when my anxiety wants to come up right like just hearing that I won’t have my Medicaid and this happens to a lot of us when we become reliant on medications to help us with our anxiety or depression especially anxiety we find out that we’re not going to have it that can make us want to get anxious so I’m gonna be talking a lot about how mindfulness meditation helps me so what happened was I noticed the anxiety like as I’m talking to the pharmacist like I noticed my anxiety starting to come up and I’m just like I have to remind myself in that moment like okay I’m not anxious now it’s gonna be okay you know what I mean I have to logically talk to myself and remind myself of the truths of the situation and one of those truths is because I don’t I won’t have health insurance after this month I’ve been actually taking half my dosage of Lexapro so I haven’t been taking as much as needed but one of the things that worried me or still worries me that it’s kind of stressing me out is the last two evenings I’ve gotten kind of anxious alright and then I actually I think last night I took the other half of my medication because I felt it coming and for those of you who haven’t been around for a while I’ve been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder and what that means is there’s a lot of time where my anxiety will come without being triggered by anything I just notice it happening you know what I mean so that’s something that that kind of worries me but anyways a conversation I was having on my Twitch stream again today was some hopes move my anxiety it’s just deport mentalizing the different things that I can and can’t control okay so I definitely know what I can’t control is my doctor not being open today okay they are not in the office on Friday so I just need to get that out of my mind I’ve already tried in the past like a long time ago before I started meditating and all that stuff I tried and I couldn’t do anything about it so I was like okay they’re closed okay so now I’m thinking all right so next week I can go see my doctor but now I have the whole weekend so something I’m going to do to prepare for this is I’m gonna talk to my son as well as my girlfriend the two people who I’m hanging out with this weekend and I’ve mentioned this in past videos before all right when I get anxious I get Moody I get I get irritable so I’m going to warn them and let them know hey I don’t have my Lexapro this weekend so I want to apologize in advance if I get snappy now does that justify or excuse anything I’m doing absolutely not but I do this let the people around me know about my mental health so they’re prepared for it so I I see it in this way right like hopefully you know my son is only nine my girlfriend did an obviously much older than him but they can look at and say okay he’s not mad at me maybe he’s just dealing with anxiety you see what I’m saying so they’re not blaming themselves for my snappiness but I’m also very self aware so if I do snap this weekend at any point and maybe I’ll make a follow-up and let you know how it went I can I apologize a for right after like I never ever and something I want to teach all of you I never ever ever justify my poor behavior because of my mental health like that is just not an excuse and you know for all of you out there who follow my channel like I really want to get that through to you and so many of you are good about that like we cannot use our mental illness as an excuse to be jerks to people so I’m going to prepare the people in my life for the fact that I might be anxious this weekend but what this also does is aside from like I might get moody or snappy or whatever is like they’ll also know not to you know just like bombard me with stuff you know because they know that I might be dealing with stuff but also and this is for any of you who have anxiety and you’re in a relationship or any of you who are in a relationship with somebody with anxiety like I’m going to you know have this open discussion like it’s important that we talk about our mental health like open dialogue with my girlfriend just saying hey I’m feeling anxious today and she does the same some days I get into that depressive funk and I’ll just tell her I’ll say hey I don’t really know what’s wrong and just feel like yeah today that’s kind of how I describe my depression you know but like it’s really important to have that a lot of communication and relationships and not just your significant other or your husband or wife but like I also talked to my son about it you know like it’s important that we have these conversations but anyways so my plan for the weekend my don’t do anything crazy on weekends well especially right now cuz it’s still like hot as heck out here in Las Vegas I guess September and I was just in my car and it was like 105 outside still but I have a pretty chill weekend like my son and I we might go to a movie and we’re probably gonna go to the book store or the Halloween store and things like nothing too crazy like we’re not going to like the Las Vegas Strip we’re not going to the mall like crowded places make my anxiety even worse so like that’s something I’m not worried about I have a pretty chill weekend ahead of me you know but now that I think about it I got to be mindful before we go to the movies and stuff you know just like freaking out because my ready to go to the movie and all that kind of stuff it’s just I gotta be really cognizant of what is happening and another word for that it’s just being mindful of what is happening from moment to moment alright but I have a confession to make in this video alright I haven’t been formally meditating in a while like I was in a very good habit of it while I was working and for those of you who didn’t know I got laid off a couple weeks ago last Monday my schedule out of whack and usually I would my lunch break meditate before work or whatever it was and now my schedules kind of out of a farm so like something I’m planning on doing tonight as well as Saturday and Sunday is meditating because it helps calm my mind down but sometimes what I do is is I meditating for like more than 10 minutes so sometimes what I do is I meditate for five minutes each like three or four times a day – so I’m gonna be doing that over the weekend because I don’t have my medications and I don’t even know if I can see my doctor on Monday so I might have to keep doing it and maybe this is a good thing because maybe they’ll get me back into the mode of meditating you know what I’m saying but on the other hand of not formally meditating this is what I love mindfulness those of you who don’t know what mindfulness is mindfulness is a specific type of meditation so a lot of you have heard of like mindfulness apps or things like that but the goal of mindfulness the overall goal of mindfulness is to have small moments of mindfulness throughout the day so that’s what I like about it because it doesn’t require me to find a place to sit and get quiet like mindfulness is just paying attention to what’s happening right now without judgment so even though I haven’t been formally meditating the last two weeks I get my moments of mindfulness throughout the day what’s going on in my mind what’s going on in my body what what sights or smells or sounds or feelings do I do I experience for a moment a moment so that’s something that has come over the last I don’t know three or four years of practicing mindfulness meditation is that even formerly meditating that a lot of very small moments throughout the day but again like I really wanted to make this video because I really like I do so much for my mental health something I was talking to somebody about today is like if you want to be happy if you want to overcome your depression if you want to overcome your anxiety or if you want to just be successful like find people who are doing those things and ask them how they do it you know what I mean so I really want to like document my stuff more often and just share my life experience because like this like my mental health it takes a lot of work a lot of freaking work but I want to throw little tidbits out there for you so you Bing to be like oh okay so the next time I run out of meditate not meditations medications this is what Chris did you see what I’m saying and then you can try it in your own life because things are gonna happen I didn’t expect to be out of refills and maybe that’s my bad probably is my bad definitely is my bad but I have all these tools that I can turn to for situations like this hope that makes sense but anyways anyways today let’s have a conversation down below especially for somebody with anxiety but even if you struggle with a different mental illness what struggles have you had if you ran out of your medications alright or if you have any tips for me that you do for your anxiety that helps you even when you’re not on medications alright let’s leave some comments down below okay and just a quick reminder go follow me on Twitter I think tomorrow I might make a video recap of the conversation I had with young woman over on Twitch it was really really really good we talked about a lot of stuff alcoholic parents depression self-esteem all sorts of stuff so go follow me on Twitch link is down in the description below twitch TV slash the rewired soul easy stuff easy breezy alright that’s all I got for you if you like this video please give it a thumbs up and if you’re new here I’m always making videos to help you out with your mental health make sure you subscribe and bring that notification bell and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all beautiful look at this I’m wearing a rewired soul shirt if you want to get yourself one click or tap right there and go over to the rewired soul shop alright thanks so much for watching I’ll see you next time